So, each Monday I am going to post something that I want to work on each week to bring me closer to where I want my life to be. It’s easy, because each goal is going to be something small, and if you want to play along at home you can.

This week I am planning on having all the dinner time meals at the kitchen table.

Miss 6 and I eat breakfast separately as I get up long before her, and I am going to try to eat my breakfast at the kitchen bench, just like she already does. We are rarely home for lunch, between work and school and weekend parties, so I am not worried about where we eat this meal.

Dinner, however, is important.

I have always believed that dinner should be eaten at the table, allowing the family to talk and catch up on the day. When it’s just been Miss 6 and I, I have been very slack with this ruling. Time to change this, put my foot down and work on building those connections and relationships.

It’s not hard, but might take some convincing and coaxing with Miss 6. That’s okay. I’m the mum, it’s my job to do that.

Where do you eat your dinner? Do you eat together, at different times or in different rooms? I’d love to know how dinner works in your house.

I was going to do the five outfits I wore to work this week, but by day 4 we were starting to run late so we stopped taking photos. And my photographer insisted she had to use my phone rather than her camera, and I was just not happy with the results ;P

So, that left me wondering what to do for today. And, all I can keep thinking about is all the different things I want to get done, so combining those two things seemed to make sense, don’t you think?

From our last Botanic Garden visit, well over a year ago.

1) Get to the Royal Botanic Gardens, Melbourne. I haven’t been there for ages, and it is Spring! Not sure if I can convince Miss 6 to go (when does the Children’s Garden open?) but I am hoping to go in the next fortnight.

2) Stick to my commitment for Operation Move. So far I’ve managed my hour for Day One, and have already knocked off 35 minutes for Day Two, so I am feeling pretty good about this one so far.

3) Lose 5 kg. I actually started this one on Monday just gone and have given myself until the end of September to do so. I haven’t eaten or exercised as well as I would have liked the last couple of days, and we are going out today for a big Father’s Day lunch, but it is still going okay and I know I am going to get this one ticked off.

4) Finish the three books I am reading at the moment, and maybe the two I was reading with Miss 6 that she has abandoned. Hopefully, now I am feeling a little better, my concentration levels are returning.

5) Go to the movies. I haven’t been to the movies in over a year (unless I have seen a kids film, and that doesn’t count). I don’t care if I end up going on my own, I used to do that all the time many, many years ago. I think I am going to see the new Wes Anderson, Moonrise Kingdom, but that will mean travelling as I believe it is only at the more art house cinemas.

See that girl above? Quite the cutie, isn’t she? I don’t know what happened to her, she is long, long gone. Instead there is, today, a six-year-old in my life who is currently obsessed with My Little Pony, wants Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle “stuff”, sings the most amazing songs that she has made up herself, and likes to remind me to use my “nice voice”.

She is my anchor, and I love her so much. She makes me proud with all the things she achieves, but more so for the beautiful person she constantly reveals herself to be.

Happy Birthday, Baby Girl. I hope it’s a good one. xx

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What is it you are passionate about? How did you find your passion? Is your passion what you do for a living, or something that keeps you going through those other moments? Do you do it with other people or alone?

I’m asking, because I am not sure what I am passionate about. I don’t have many hobbies, they have mostly fallen by the wayside, and I am not sure how passionate I am about them. Besides, they are mostly solitary activities, and I keep being told what I really need to do is spend time, and develop relationships, with others.

So, what things do I enjoy doing?

Well, I do like to exercise, and I have already made a commitment to put a lot more of that into my life than there has been. But, I don’t think I am passionate about it, it’s just something I need to keep me sane.

I love books and reading, but my ability to enjoy them comes and goes depending on whether I have the time and concentration for them. Lately, I have had neither. And, of course, unless I could find a book club that fell into my limited time where I can leave the house solo, then this is very much one of those solitary activities.

Taking photos is another hobby of mine, but one I have rarely indulged recently (despite getting the shiny new camera!). Again, this is not really a group activity thing. I suppose if you were to go on photo walks, in a group, then maybe. Where do you find out about such things? Do they exist? Maybe this is something worth looking at (and maybe I can get some help in regards to how to use my camera better too).

I used to scrapbook, but not for a long time. I am thinking that I might look at doing some classes locally, if I can, and see if that stirs an interest again.

I enjoy cooking, not in the day-to-day, that’s kind of boring, but in the cooking for others with fancy meals and food gifts. I haven’t much been in the entertaining mood lately. Maybe I need to think about this. Maybe I could start to invite people over for a meal once in a while?

I would love to learn how to be a proper gardener. I want to grow my own food. I need to find the time to do a bit of research about how I need to go about it (I am planning a no dig garden, but have lost where I put my information), and then I plan to start. Again, this isn’t really a social activity, but it is something I think I could become passionate about.

Do you have to work at something to become passionate about it? Does it start with an overwhelming desire to do it? I don’t know, which is why I am asking so many questions. If you have any answers, I would love to hear them. It may help me find my passion.

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Edit: I should say that I am passionate about parenting, but I am looking to make my life a little more fulfilling on a personal level. I love my daughter, and being her mumma is a wonderful thing, but I need to have something else, some other way of looking at myself as a person, to feel a little bit more personally fulfilled. It’s part of valuing myself and self-care. If I don’t do these other things then I really won’t be able to be the best mother I could be for her, because I won’t be the best me I could be.

I have a list of goals that I have written down. I was going to use them to replace the 101 in 1001 list. Quite a lot of the things on the original list made the change, but I just felt there was too much there and I was putting too much pressure on myself.

So, instead i was going to go for 52 things in 52 weeks.

See the problem? I just can’t help putting pressure on myself!

I may come back to the list and put it here, but I need to find a way to relax it. Drop the time frame? I don’t know. Some things need a time frame as a term of measure, others, not so much. I think I need to think on it a bit more and find a way to do it without being so hard or demanding on myself (although many of the things on there are happy, joyful things, so, I don’t know. It needs work and we’ll leave it at that, okay?)

Instead, I’m going to try something else.

I had a conversation the other day about change. How right now I need to do it, but it’s scary, and it’s big and it’s overwhelming. It’s hard, and when you see that big mountain there you wonder just how you will overcome it and make that journey.

Hence, Little Steps.

Ech week I am going to commit to one change or goal. Some weeks they will seem big, some weeks they will seem small, but altogether they will make a difference. Hopefully the difference I want to make.

This week I am kind of helped in deciding where to begin.

I had chosen this anyway, because I am really hoping it will help me sleep at night, but then I saw this post from my friend Kate Says Stuff, and she’s offering me a prize to make this change, so I figure that’s an extra good reason to start here first, right?

So, my first step is exercise. I’ve decided to walk 30 minutes every day. On work days this will be the laps I do around the local footy oval. I’ve already started this and walked 4 days last week (for a total of 17 laps). On days when I can’t walk during lunch I will hop on the treadmill at home for 30 minutes.

I’m also going to try to commit to 30 minutes other exercise. I know, it seems like a lot, but I am either up early, or need to keep myself up a little later at night. So, this will be time spent on the Wii, playing games on the Fit, maybe my EA Active, or just some yoga. Maybe I will just do some squats, arm weights and tummy exercises on my fit ball. I need to write a schedule and work it out so I am doing something different all the time.

So, that is 60 minutes a day for the 30 days of September. 1800 minutes.

That’s 1800 minutes I am giving to myself, for myself, for a whole month. To make me feel good about myself and with myself. I think I’m worth that, don’t you?

My friend Dorothy put out a challenge this week, and I really wanted to take part in it, but I haven’t given myself much time to think about it, and when i have i really haven’t come up with much.

The challenge?  List 30 positive things about yourself.

Can you do it? Are there 30 things that make you think, “Yeah, that’s awesome. I’m awesome!” ?

How battered are our self-esteems that something like this is a struggle? How little value are we placing on ourselves? No wonder most of us don’t give ourselves self care when we just don’t think enough of ourselves.

We need to change that. If we don’t value ourselves, then why would anyone else?

If we don’t give ourselves time and energy, how can we expect anyone else to?

I don’t have 30 things. I don’t even know if I can come up with 10. But, I’m going to try.

1) Eyes. I like my eye colour, the shape is quite nice too.

2) Loyal. It’s a factor that got me my current job. seriously. One look at my resume and potential employers think I’ll be sticking around.

3) Good with kids. I really love kids, and I love interacting with them. And, if their response is anything to go by then I must be pretty good at it.

4) Smart. I am smart. I don’t like to do things that involve deep thinking (I spend more than enough time inside my head as it is), but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t something in there.

5) A good cook. I’m never afraid of trying to do stuff (I even attempted choux pastry once!) and I always enjoy it, even when it seems like I am under a lot of pressure.

6) Planning. I am great at making plans. Not so much on the follow through, but the planning, I’m all over it 

Six. It’s all I can manage right now. I feel a bit better for writing these things down. Maybe they will help. Maybe, once I’ve had some time, I can come back to it, and maybe I will be able to think of a few more.

What do you think, Dorothy? Re-visit is 6 months, a year, and see if people have added to the list?

I love to cook. Surprisingly our dinners weren’t all that varied, as much as I love to eat and cook, because Miss 5 is a little bit fussy, and then there was the fact that there was a need to freeze meals regularly and nor everything reheats well.

But, overall, I don’t think I did that bad.

Since staring work I’ve had to re-think what we have for dinner. Sure, I still freeze some things – lasagne, meatball or bolognese sauce, chow mein – but some night you just want something fresh.

We don’t get home until almost 6pm, so whatever we cook must be quick, and I like to make sure we have plenty of vegetables on as many nights as possible.

So, the nature of our dinners have changes. Wraps, hamburgers, and, the new favourite with Miss 5, omlettes, are regular features. Jacket potatoes (cooked in the microwave and then thrown in the oven for a short while) are making their way onto the menu.

I can’t wait for the warm weather to start and serve some new salads. And maybe, some nights, it can be a simple vegetable, dip and fruit platter.

These are not the usual things I would think of serving for dinner, mostly they are more of what I would consider lunch fare, but, as long as we are full, eating healthy  and it doesn’t take too long to do, what does it matter?

(I apologize for the lack of images, I’m writing on the run and really haven’t been that snap happy, even with my new camera!)

Today is supposed to be book club day, but once again I haven’t read my book.

I really tried this month. I started Julian Barnes “A History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters” two weeks ago, but I just haven’t been in the headspace where I can concentrate on a book.

I’m still on chapter three.

It’s not that I dislike the book, or Barnes ( I think I enjoyed “Flaubert’s Parrot” when i read it at university. At least, I am quite sure I remember liking it more than I had expected to), it’s just that I can’t concentrate.

I think once I have finished it it will be time to read something light for awhile.

I am quite sure that Zucchini Bikini has read a book for this month’s topic, because she’s a real trooper like that. Hopefully my head is in a better place for next month (I am starting to get there!),  and I do get to read a book by an Australian woman writer, it’s a challenge I really wanted to meet this year. Hope you can come back in 4 weeks with a book read too.

Although, technically it’s probably only 3 things, as three of these are kind of the same thing, just gradually realized.

The brightest, most vibrant rainbow I have ever seen. The colours were almost fluorescent they were so vibrant.

A line of birds, flying away from the on-coming rain, that as I got closer revealed themselves to actually be a V.

The full arc of the rainbow, discovered as I watched the birds take on their V formation.

And, as I looked back out the driver’s side window I noticed that not only was the rainbow incredibly vibrant, it was a double rainbow (“Oh, man!”)

An amazing golden glow given to everything by this sunny shower on a mid-Winter’s drive home.

And you know, you can’t mention a double rainbow without re-hashing this video. It comes to mind every time I see one (and I don’t ever remember seeing one before watching this).

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“5 things” is something new I’m going to try to do each Sunday. It may be photos, it may just be words. It may be things that have made me happy, angry, sad or just think. It’s a way to look back and the week and see what has made an impression. If you want to do your own “5 things post” you are welcome to leave a link in the comments below.

you know the song, I’m sure, I don’t need to finish that title.

If you’ve popped over to the blog and aren’t reading from the reader, you’ll see things are starting to look different around here. A new quote for the tagline, a new  header photo.

It’s a start.

I’ve been living as if everything is on hold for a while now, and it’s time to change that.

I’m going to re-work my 101 in 1001 list.  The old one doesn’t fit anymore.

I need to find a schedule and a routine that works.

Miss 5 and I need to learn to listen, and not yell. To take care of each other as well as ourselves.

I need to grow and try new things.

I’m coming back to my blog, and going to start working on my other projects.

It’s been a long time in the coming, and it might still take some more, but change is a’comin’ .